Compassion

Compassion is one of those eternal, infinite forces, like love, which we all have experienced in one form or another. Like many people, I first experienced compassion when I was a child through witnessing people giving to others. The acts of giving came with a mindset that the giver was concerned with the best interests of others to whom they were giving. A good example was seeing someone giving a blanket to another person who was cold, so that they could stay healthy and comfortable. There are many ways in which we show mercy and compassion when we give to each other this way. Helping someone study a math problem so that they can do better on their upcoming test is another example of this type of compassion. In these cases, compassion feels loving and caring, and it is easy for people to receive and appreciate it.

However, there are times when people don't recognize what their best interests are, and at these times, people want something different from what they know, deep down inside, is truly best for them. A person who is addicted to a drug for example, who knows that they are addicted, and still abuses the drug, is craving something which is harmful. What they want, to act out on their addiction, is different from what they need, to be freed from their addiction in order to live a healthy life. In this type of situation, a compassionate person truly giving in the best interests of the addict, will help the addict by not enabling them in their self-destructive behavior. Sometimes this may seem severe, because in being interested in what the addict needs, the compassionate person may seem unconcerned with what the addict wants. The addict may react very violently to this type of compassion, and possibly even attempt to harm the person who is doing their best to help them. From the addict’s point of view, compassion may seem uncaring or mean.

The merciful and severe aspects of compassion are always present, and we can't have one without the other. Giving a blanket to someone who is cold has a severe side. The receiving person must come to terms with the fact that they aren't self-sufficient and that they must sometimes depend on others for survival. In addition, preventing an addict from using drugs is very merciful, because it frees them up from their self-destructive behavior and gives them a chance to be truly happy. It may seem contradictory, but the merciful and severe sides of compassion are united in this way.

This unifying of opposites through compassion has another application. We can't truly apply compassion or extend it to others, unless we first understand how compassion works from our own experiences. We have to understand why we might need a blanket before we can know that giving a blanket to someone else might be helpful, and it's only after we have come to terms with our own addictions that we can have the strength of resolve to truly help an addict. In being merciful and severe to others, we must be merciful and severe with ourselves. We have to be severe with ourselves and endure the outrage of an addict when we don’t enable their addiction. We have to be merciful and understanding of our own needs in order to foster the compassion needed to be giving to others. It is then that we can begin to see the connection between self and other, and it is then that we can understand unity.

The severity of compassion and the unity of self and other are of upmost importance in times of conflict. It is easy to see why we might promote peace from a compassionate intention and seek to resolve our differences without violence. However, there are also times when we must act forcefully in the name of compassion. When someone is seeking to harm us or others, they are very much like a drug addict who wants something that has a negative influence. They can become so consumed by this negativity that they are willing to inflict pain and damage on other people. Because their actions will most likely result in negative consequences for themselves as well, the pain and damage will ultimately extend to the attacker too. In these circumstances, we may need to act with force to protect whomever is in danger. When aligned with compassion, we can direct the force of our martial arts with the intention to stop an attacker and still keep their best interests in mind. Instead of acting out of fear or vengeance, we can aim to promote what is best for everyone involved. With compassion, we are less likely to overdo our own forcefulness and limit ourselves to only do what is necessary. It is this type of martial intention which embodies the spirit of severity in compassion, and it is this type of compassion which is at the root of our martial arts.